


A Patrick Swayze Christmas in Etheria

by muppet8003



Category: Mystery Science Theater 3000, She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: Catra is terrible, Christmas, Gen, Singing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-18
Updated: 2019-12-18
Packaged: 2021-02-26 05:13:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 752
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21844246
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/muppet8003/pseuds/muppet8003
Summary: It's Christmas time in the Fright Zone and Catra, having just captured three of the princesses, decides it's time for her, Scorpia, and Entrapta to practice her new Christmas Carol.
Relationships: Catra & Entrapta & Scorpia (She-Ra)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 11





	A Patrick Swayze Christmas in Etheria

“Guys, do we really need these scarves?” Entrapta asked, tugging the pink scarf wrapped around her neck, “Even in winter, the Fright Zone is actually fairly warm.”

“We can’t go caroling without scarves, Entrapta,” Scorpia lightly chided, “Scarves are a must.”

“You remind me of the princess who would sell the most candy bars when we were little,” Entrapta muttered.

“Probably president of the Swing Choir, too,” Catra added, glancing toward their recently captured princesses, locked in a cell together, “Anyways, seeing as we have a captive audience.”

“Ha, and indeed, ha,” Mermista monotoned.

“If you’ll all look at your sheet music,” Catra continued, unperturbed, “We can rehearse my new song.”

“You wrote a Christmas song, Wildcat?” Scorpia asked.

“Hey, there’s no tradition like a new tradition,” Catra smirked.

“Wait a minute,” Entrapta interrupted, “Let’s have a Patrick Swayze Christmas?”

“Oh, yeah, yeah,” Catra agreed, “Based on my favorite movie, Roadhouse!”

Entrapta blinked, “What the heck does Patrick Swayze have to do with Christmas?”

“Hey, you keep Christmas in your way and let me keep it in mine, okay?” Catra growled

“C’mon, Entrapta.” Scorpia reasoned, “It seems like a nice enough sentiment, we can give it a shot.”

“Alright,” Catra instructed retaking control of the conversation, “Okay, okay; 12:8 time, key of A Flat Major. Emily, shoot us the tune. Okay, you’ll just have to stay with me, everybody. Your parts are highlighted. Let’s have a Patrick Swayze Christmas, by Catra.”

“All,” Scorpia read as Emily began to play the tune, “Let’s have a Patrick Swayze Christmas?”

“Right,” Catra nodded, “Hit it!”

There was a slight delay as the music swelled, before Etrapta spoke up, “Oh, I start! Ahem…Open up your heart and let the Patrick Swayze Christmas in.”

“We’ll gather at the Roadhouse with our next of kin.” Catra continued enthusiastically.

Scorpia, nodding along, read her line next, “And Santa can be our regular…Saturday night thing?”

Next, all three chorused, “We’ll decorate a barstool and gather round and sing!”

“Oh, let's have a Patrick Swayze Christmas this year!” Entrapta sang, making grand gestures with her hair.

“Or we'll tear your throat out and kick you in the ear!” Catra sang with a vicious smirk.

“Wait, what!?!” Perfuma cried, aghast.

“Wow, hold it! Hold it! Emily, stop it the music!” Scorpia called, making ‘stop’ motions with her right pincher, “Catra, I don’t know if this is an appropriate sentiment for Christmas anymore.”

“Seriously,” Mermista agreed.

“What, like a good action sequence don’t belong at Christmas?” A genuinely surprised Catra asked.

“Well no, it’s just…” Scorpia tactfully began, “I’ve never heard of an action sequence in a Christmas Carol before.”

“Well then grab hold of your socks and read on guys!” Catra encouraged.

“Okay,” Scorpia agreed, somewhat hesitantly.

“Okay, pick it up from Measure 20, Emily,” Entrapta ordered her faithful bot, before turning back to her friend/commander/captor, “Do love the intro, very tasteful.”

“Thanks.”

The music picked back up and Entrapta once again began to sing first, “It’s my way or the highway, this Christmas at my ba-ha-haar.”

“I’ll have to smash your kneecaps if you bastards touch my car!” Catra sang, making the trio of captive princesses huddle together fearfully.

Scorpia still looked unsure, but continued with her part, “I got the word that Santa has been stealing from the till.”

Then the Horde’s whole power trio sang, “I think that that right jolly old elf better make out his will, ohh!”

“They’re gonna kill Santa?!” Frosta cried out, frightened for her kingdom’s most beloved citizen.

From there, Catra, Scorpia, and Entrapta sang together, “Oh, let's have a Patrick Swayze Christmas, one and all.

“And this can be the haziest…

“This can be the laziest... 

“This can be the Swayziest, Christmas of them aaallllllllll!”

Entrapta brought the song to a close with a soft, “La, la, la, la, la, la, ha ha!”

“It stinks.” Mermista stated

“The jolly tone and violent themes are most inharmonious,” Perfuma commented.

“Please, torture me. That’d be so much nicer,” Frosta muttered.

Ignoring the princesses’ comments, Catra turned to her friends and asked, “How long until it becomes a standard!?”

“I think you need to come with me,” Scorpia stated, unceremoniously grabbing Catra and yanking her down the hall, “C’mon!”

“WHAOOO!” Catra shouted as she was yanked out of view of the captive princesses.

Entrapta looked after the two for a moment and looked back to her imprisoned friends, giving them a pleasant if slightly nervous smile, “Heh, heh. Merry Christmas, everyone!”

**Author's Note:**

> This silly will story is based on one of my all time favorite sketches on Mystery Science Theater 3000, which you can find on YouTube.
> 
> I was intrigued to check out this series when I was browsing Netflix and noticed that this series was up to four seasons, quite impressive for Netflix. At time of posting, I've just finished season two, and even though I'm FAR from the target audience, I'd say it's pretty good. 
> 
> Actually, my one big complaint with She-Ra is, fittingly enough, She-Ra herself. Or I should say Adora, since she rarely takes her She-Ra form. It's not that she's a bad character, per se, just that there's not enough of her. The first couple episodes strongly focused on her character development and story, and rightly so, but she's basically been a glorified supporting character in her own show ever since. Sure, characters TALK about how important and awesome Adora is, but in almost every episode whatever the heroes are doing wasn't her idea, nor is she the one to shove the problem. Even when battling the badguys, She-Ra tends to just kinda be there. Conversely, Adora's former best friend, now worst enemy Catra has had at least as much screen time and a much more interesting character ark. Even Adora's sidekicks, Princess Glimmer and Bow, have a stronger claim to being the real protagonists. As I said, I'm only half way through, so maybe Adora will get more time to shine in seasons 3 and 4.
> 
> Hope you enjoyed my silly little Christmas story, dear readers!


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